Layne: Glad to have you over for a chat. I understand you are the
inspiration for Conon Doyle’s Sherlock Holmes.
Xavier: Gads! You understand incorrectly then. I am nothing like
Conon Doyle’s character and I wish people would cease spreading this ridiculous
rumor about London. I do not play the violin, I am not addicted to
cocaine, I do not declare cases solved on the flimiest of evidence. If anyone
resembles Holmes, it is Victor, my secretary and investigator in training. Vic
has the finest intuitive skills I have ever seen. Better than even the
impressive Chief Inspector Stone of Scotland Yard.
Layne: That’s a difference. I believe the inspector in Doyle’s
books was a bumbling idiot.
Xavier: The only resemblance between me and this Holmes character
Doyle created seven years ago, is that we both solve our cases, albeit in
different ways. Now that Victor has joined me, I expect we will solve more
cases than ever.
Layne: But you and Holmes both smoke pipes.
Xavier: As does half the men in England, while the other half
choose to smoke cigarettes, an inferior, but less costly choice. Smoking is a
sign of manliness.
Layne: I understand you did meet Doyle once…
Xavier: Yes, and had I realized he intended to write mystery
novels, I would have thrown him out at once, but he claimed to be a doctor,
wishing to consult on a client’s mysterious death. It was not until an hour
later when I asked for the name of the family involved that he admitted he'd
made the situation up, he just wished to understand how one might go about
discovering the truth when those connected to the crime would do all they could
to obfuscate what happened.
Layne: How did you respond?
Xavier: The moment I realized that he intended to take a turn at
writing novels, I threw him out. But only after I gave him a stern warning not
to dare make me a character in his book.
Layne: Which he did anyway.
Xavier: Have you not heard a word I have said? He did not put me
in his book. His character is nothing like me.
Layne: Clearly, I’ve hit a tender spot. Let us move on and
discover more about Liza O’Connor’s Humorous Late Victorian Mystery novel, the
first of many, called The Troublesome Apprentice.
The Adventures of
Xavier & Vic
–
Book
1
The Troublesome
Apprentice
By
Liza O’Connor
The
Key to Aunt Maddy’s Death
The
Missing Husband of Mrs. Wimple
The
Disappearing Scarlet Nun
The
Clever Butcher’s Wife
The
Rescue of Lady Anne
While investigating the death of a friend and client, Maddy Hamilton,
Xavier Thorn (reputed to be the greatest sleuth in England) is greatly
impressed with Maddy’s nephew, Victor, and offers him a job as his secretary.
Aware of Xavier’s history of firing secretaries, Victor garners a promise that
for three months he cannot be fired. Vic then proceeds, in Xavier’s view, to be
cheeky and impertinent at every turn. Xavier endures the impudent pup because
Victor is most skilled in extracting the truth from clients and intuiting facts
with little evidence to assist.
As they solve a string of cases, Xavier discovers a few more important
details about his troublesome apprentice, such as her true gender, and the
realization that she has awakened his long dormant heart.
Mrs. Wimple entered
and, before Xavier could ask if she wished tea, Victor, the impertinent pup,
asked the question as he showed her to a chair. She requested tea, and Victor
promised to bring it shortly.
“He’s new,” Mrs.
Wimple said once the scamp had left the room.
“Yes, I recently
acquired him. He’s just come down from Oxford.”
“Oxford,” Mrs. Wimple
repeated, clearly impressed. “I would not think a young man from Oxford would
wish to be a mere secretary.”
“Daresay you are
right. Victor is my apprentice. He is learning the craft of investigation.”
“Oh, how very
exciting for him.”
“I have strong hopes
for the young man. He’s incredibly bright and very insightful. I daresay,
within a year, I will be forced to make him my partner or he’ll leave and open
his own office.”
“And then we would
have two Sherlock Holmes.”
Xavier’s muscles
tightened at her words. He had already told the damnable woman during her first
visit Sherlock Holmes was a fictitious character who bore no resemblance to him
at all. He hated it when clients thought themselves clever. “Yes, and imagine
how confusing it would be.” He rapped his pencil on the edge of his desk. What is taking Vic so damn long? Unless he
has never made tea and hasn’t a clue, but surely he can figure out something so
simple.
Victor returned
carrying a silver tray burdened with a large assortment of bowls, cups, and
saucers. Where the bloody hell did he
find a serving set? In the past, all the secretaries had brought a single
cup of tea.
Mrs. Wimple seemed to
appreciate all the tomfoolery and complimented Victor on his fine manners.
***
“Mr. Holmes was
telling me you are an Oxford man.”
Vic smiled with
amusement at Xavier being called “Mr. Holmes”. “I am indeed, ma’am.” Vic smiled
at Xavier. “And you, Mr. Holmes, how do you wish your tea?”
Xavier’s eyes
narrowed. “Guess.”
Vic handed him a
plain tea, then removed the service tray and returned with pencil and paper to
take notes. To her surprise, Xavier waited for her to sit before beginning.
“I’ve decided to
place Victor in charge of your case, Mrs. Wimple.”
That made no sense.
She’d nearly burnt down his place of business. Hardly a reason to promote her
to investigator. Without a doubt he was up to something.
“Since he has not
read my notes from the first meeting, we are going to start at the beginning,
as if you have never been here before. I would like you to tell him all
pertinent facts, but bear in mind, if you lie to him, he cannot help you.”
“Lie? Why would I
lie?”
“I sincerely hope you
will not, but you lied to me. You wasted my time in our last interview and I’ve
no patience left. Therefore, I am going to sit quietly and enjoy my tea while
Victor conducts his interview. If he manages to do what I could not, I will
allow him to continue to learn this business. However, if he cannot pull the
truth from you, I will fire him for incompetence and it will be on your head,
Mrs. Wimple.”
“But that’s not
fair,” she protested.
Vic couldn’t agree
more. True her actions had almost scarred Xavier for life and burnt down his
business, but he had given her his word she would not be fired for three
months. She was barely into her second day. She studied her cranky employer,
trying to make sense of his turnabout. He showed no anger, only annoyance, all
aimed at Mrs. Wimple.
Xavier set his cup on
his desk and leaned forward. “I’m sorry, but it’s your punishment for wasting
my time with lies and half-truths.”
The Troublesome Apprentice
I’m tired of telling my proper bio. So
you get the improper bio.
Liza O’Connor was raised by feral cats,
which explains a great deal, such as why she has no manners, is always getting
in trouble, and doesn’t behave like a proper author and give you a proper bio.
She is highly unpredictable, both in
real life and her stories, and presently is writing humorous romances. Please
buy these books, because otherwise, she’ll become grumpy and write troubled
novels instead. They will likely traumatize you.
Mostly humorous books by Liza:
Saving Casey – Old woman reincarnates into troubled teen’s body. (Half
funny/half traumatizing)
Ghost Lover—Two British brothers fall in love with the same young woman.
Ancestral ghost is called in to fix the situation. There’s a ghost cat too.
(Humorous Contemporary Romance)
A Long Road to Love Series: (Humorous
Contemporary odd Romance)
Worst Week Ever — Laugh out loud week of disasters of Epic proportions.
Oh Stupid Heart — The heart wants what it wants, even if it’s impossible.
Coming to Reason — There is a breaking point when even a saint comes to
reason.
Climbing out of Hell — The reconstruction of a terrible man into a great one.
Don’t Forget to enter to win one of the two $25 Amazon
Gift Cards.
Blog and Website: http://www.LizaOConnor.com
Facebook Profile: http://www.facebook.com/liza.oconnor.90
Twitter: https://twitter.com/Liza0Connor
